Posted by: codecalla | October 29, 2016

16 years

For about 16 years I had the privilege of having Dickens as a companion.  I’m filled with grief, wandering around my apartment that feels empty because he is not here.  I have two girl kitties that need attention and love.  I’m trying to provide that, but apprehensive.  One of my cats, Lina, is a “senior” kitty, although younger than Boo and Dickens were.  Loss is difficult to face.

I’ve been fortunate to have kind friends, students, and family who have reached out.

For the last 9 years or so, I have paid close attention to Dickens and his health.  He had surgery, which was traumatic for both of us.  Now that that part of my attention is no longer required, I feel at a loss.  “I don’t know what to do.”

Crying has helped to a degree, but Dickens was my sweet boy.  It’s difficult to face the loss and loneliness his passing has left.  I’m thankful that he is no longer in pain and hopefully he’s being looked after by my loved ones who have also passed.

It’s not even been a week, and I have had to force myself through daily functions, work, and grading.  My heart is not in it, but I am thankful to have had the privilege of knowing him.

The loss of my sweet boy hurts, but he made my life much richer by being in it.

Dickens, my Shah, beautiful boy…I love you.

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